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Wow. You know those times when you come out of some training, a deep immersive learning experience, and you have had a lightbulb moment?

This one was good. I had to write it down.

Is our habit and dare I say it – obsession – with being busy a form of sabotage? Sabotaging our ability to become our best selves, by endlessly filling our days with stuff to do?

Questions to Ask Yourself

🌱 Do we need to unlearn the habits of a lifetime that we need to be constantly working in order to achieve greater success?

🌱 Can we succeed better in life (and our chosen career / hustle / life’s purpose) with less outer work.. and more inner work?

🌱 I spend so much of my time at the desk, working, chasing, typing, organising, scheduling … but am I getting much done?

🌱 Is there a better way I can show up as myself, to schedule my time, and can I in fact practice that and teach it to others?

Inner World v Outer World

There is a growing school of thought that there is more joy and purpose in investigating our inner world than our obsession over our outer world. And I am deep in conversation with myself on whether we can in fact DO MORE but with LESS TOIL, and MORE GRACE. And to replace the hustle with greater reflection, meditation and inner world exploration.

One phrase after two hours of intensive learning about the archetypes at play in our world (more about them later) stays with me:

Don’t pick up your phone. Stay away from the TV, abstain from work. Unplug from the 3D world and try to stay in this beautiful state as long as you can.

Cultivating a deeper relationship with yourself can be hard work when we are so used to “busying ourselves”. I’m a big fan of giving people permission to care for themselves but how good am I at activating that for myself?

Great at exercising, nourishing myself, meditation and journaling. Great at learning and exploring new ideas through reading and training. Probably charting better than most on those fronts. However going a little deeper than that and we start to falter.

Social Media

Social media, it occurs to me, and the tech devices we rely on daily are just like The Matrix. They are some kind of illusion just as life is a perceptive and illusory experience.

And if it’s all just an illusion, a dream, why do we plug into the dream and depend on the dream constantly, endlessly, looking for gratification, for likes, for follows, as if our life depends on it?

We feed our Insta, our Snapchat, our Facebook, Twitter and Linkedin and Whatsapp with a stream of chat in order to remain relevant. What drives us to do that. Is it love, or fear? Is it authenticity, or comparisonitis?

A Final Thought

Online communities are my jam. I’m not giving up the ghost and leaving the big city to go hang out in a shack by the sea (oh hang on, already done that one). Online communities create ways to connect, learn, lift each other up, inspire and be part of something they believe in.

However, if you don’t have a relationship with yourself first, what’s the point?

If it’s not authentic, what’s the point?

If you’re only going for likes, what’s the point?

The only person who needs to truly LIKE you, is you. And that comes from within.

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Nefe Oguntoye

Hi everyone, I'm Nefe. I'm a accountant turned lifestyle entrepreneur. I help high achieving men and women (like you) love their lives as much as they thought they would when they were kids. We focus on having a fulfilling career, creating more time, reducing stress, making more money, increasing self-confidence, building online businesses, and strengthening relationships. I'm designing my dream life, and my goal is to help you design yours. XoXo

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